Previous | Table of Contents | Next

I wonder how Sophia’s doing. Should I go check on her? She’s in class right now, and she told me she doesn’t like it when I visit her at school, but what if I just happen to go to the school and happen to be in an area where I can watch her class? Yeah, that should be fine! I’m not visiting her; I’m going out on a very important business trip. Mhm, mhm. As the leader of the Shadow Devil Sect, I have to go around to sect-owned places to do sect-leader things. Mm, I don’t even know why Sophia doesn’t like it when I visit her anyway. I always bring her snacks when I do. Ah? Why don’t I ask her why? I did, but it can’t remember the reason. It’s been a while since I’ve done the Secret Phoenix Rebirth Technique to train my mind. It’s been a while since I cultivated for any reason at all! Anyways, I’ll just sneak on over to the school, and with my instinctive hiding skills, no one will notice I’m there at all!

“It’s so bright!”

“I can’t see!”

“Teacher Lin, someone stepped on my foot! Can I fight a duel to the death with him?”

“No duels to the death before the age of thirteen!”

Oh. I remember why Sophia doesn’t like it when I visit her at school. The light from the immortal door practically blinds everyone around me. This stupid, stupid door, why can’t it just leave me alone? At least the formations around it haven’t beeped in a while. It’s a shame though; I want to collect more animals from the immortal realm. I was catching most of them with my wok, but there were people who caught and saved a few, and now we’re rearing them in a pen! Ilya says a breeding program will make the animals taste better, so I approved it. Mm, Ilya probably would’ve done it anyone even if I didn’t approve it, but she likes seeking my approval. Who doesn’t?

“Mommy!”

It’s Sophia! “Here! Have a snack! Mommy was just passing by, you know?” I’ll distract her with a cookie; she won’t even realize I’m here to spy on her. “But … since I’m here, why not show Mommy what you learned today! Where’s the teacher? I’m sure she won’t mind.”

Ah? The teacher is Baldie!? I told her to teach sex ed with Scarry! That should be taught to adults! Did ten years pass in my sleep? I remember there was a time ten years passed in one day. No! “Baldie! What are you teaching these kids!?”

“Sect Leader Fluffytail,” Baldie said and cupped her hands at me. “According to Principal Ilya’s instructions, I am teaching these students the Shadow Devil Foundation Building Technique.”

Shadow Devil Foundation Building Technique? Never heard of it! “Alright, show me this technique of yours.”

Baldie cupped her hands again. “I’ll begin. Students, watch carefully.”

Hmmm. Hmmmmm. Hmmmmmmm. This is a foundation building technique? It looks pretty graceful! I never learned anything like this before. For some reason, there’s a part of it that reminds me of a technique I learned a long, long time ago. It’s been so long that I don’t even remember its name anymore! Was it the Steady Mountain Footwork or something like that? Ah? It’s over already? “Was that it?”

“Yes.” Baldie nodded. “What do you think?”

It looks fancy, but … does it actually do anything? “How is that body training?” The body training I know involves training the body! Dodging arrows while balancing on bamboo poles! Fighting endless hoards of beasts until you think you’re going to die of exhaustion! Swinging your sword until your hands are raw and bleeding! Running after carriages for miles and miles to not be left behind! This, this is so easy compared to that! There’s no way it’s as effective. “Where’s the blood, sweat, and tears?”

“It’s impractical to perform such barbaric acts at a young age,” Baldie said. “There is a generally accepted method of raising an immortal. From infancy to childhood, infants should be fed with the best spiritual foods around, letting their body accumulate energy from various different sources. They should take baths in herbal remedies and regularly ingest rare spirit fruits.”

Fed with the best foods? I’ve done that to Sophia! My food can be called the best in the world! I knew I’d be a great parent. “What comes after that?”

“Starting from the age of six, children are taught qi-gathering manipulating. Different families have different techniques, but the process is still the same.” Baldie looked up at the sky as if she were remembering something. “Of the billions of methods I know, the Shadow Devil Foundation Building Technique is above average in terms of simplicity and effectiveness. With this technique, it should take up to three months for children to sense and manipulate qi. Once the child’s body is modified by the presence of qi, a process that continues for a maximum of six years, the body training that you’re referring to takes place. However, training a body like yours—one that has been honed to the extreme—has been abandoned by most sects. There isn’t really much space for blood, sweat, and tears.”

Eh? I know my body is pretty strong, like really, really strong, and it was built on blood, sweat, and tears! “Why?”

Baldie lowered her head to look at me. “It’s too expensive. The herbs required for priceless body-improving pills require tens of thousands of years to grow. Body cultivators may be incredibly strong, but it’s a path only the wealthy and the lucky can traverse. The benefits are great, but some people don’t think they’re worth the cost. A family can nurture dozens of experts with the money required to nurture one body cultivator.”

Well, it’s a good thing Sophia’s an only child right now. It’s also a good thing she was born into a super-rich family: mine! Sophia’s potential might not be the greatest, but she’s my child, and I’m going to invest everything into her!

Previous | Table of Contents | Next