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Lucia’s immortal tribulation is coming, but she’s not preparing herself for it at all! It’s been over thousands of years since the last immortal ascended; according to the scriptures, an average cultivator has to face nine lightning strikes to ascend. It might sound easy, but if it were easy, then there’d be many more immortals. Actually, I’m not even sure how immortals there are since they all live on a separate plane. Does that mean if Lucia ascends, I won’t be able to see her again unless I become an immortal as well…? Does, does it make me a bad person for wanting her to fail? No! She can’t fail because she’ll die. …But if she passes, I won’t be able to see her again. I don’t have the confidence to become an immortal….
“Drink! What’s wrong, guys? Your faces are pale. Mm, when you drink this, your face should be nice and red! You two aren’t skimping out on drinking this, right!?”
“Lucia! You’re in serious danger right now!” No matter how hard Sister Ilya and I try to convince her, Lucia won’t listen! It’s because she’s not in the right state of mind. Is there a way to make her sober? Yes, there is. “Actually, Lucia, can you come closer?” I can’t move towards her because she bound my legs with a restraining rope, and it’d be a bit awkward to crawl with the one arm she left free.
“Hmm? What is it?”
Lucia came closer, but she wasn’t close enough. “Even closer.”
“Hmm?”
Lucia’s breath smelled like immortal rice wine. Even so, I have to do this. Within the Seducing Succubus Sect, there’s a technique that allows one to absorb the impurities of another through a kiss. I’ve done it to Lucia before, and I’ll do it again! This is all for the sake of making her sober. Alcohol is an impurity that can be removed like any other.
“Ah?” Lucia’s eyes widened as she pulled back. Did I absorb enough with that kiss? Is she sober now? “Softie! Are you drunk? I’m not the one you should be kissing, silly! Where’s that dumb barkeep when you need him?”
…It seems like she’s still drunk. Has she been trying to matchmake me with Long Chen? It certainly feels like it! “I don’t like Long Chen at all! I would never kiss him!”
“Eh? Who’s Long Chen?” Lucia tilted her head and scratched her ear. “I don’t know any Long Chen. Whatever! Drink more! The soup will go cold soon, and it doesn’t taste the same when it’s reheated.”
When Lucia put another bowl of soup in my hand, I leaned forward and kissed her again. The hairs on the back of my neck are tingling, and I can tell it’s due to that immortal tribulation that’s on its way. I have to make sure Lucia’s sober as soon as possible. It feels like my body is going to explode. There’s the energy from the soup, and there’s the impurities from Lucia. Extracting her impurities like this is much more effective than drinking her bath water, but at the same time, it’s much harder to handle. However, this is all worth it for Lucia’s sake!
“Eh? Softie? Why are you kissing me?”
Lucia sounds less drunk than before! It’s working! I’ll do it again!
“Mmph! Softie! Wait! I don’t really mind these friendly kisses, but maybe you’ve had too much to drink! Don’t you think you’re acting a bit weird!?”
This is all for Lucia’s sake!
“Why are you, mmph, kissing me, mmph, so much!?”
This is to help you pass your tribulation! However, I don’t have any time to actually speak! Lucia drank a lot, like a seriously large amount. I have to absorb more. More!
“Two drunk idiots. Are these the people I’m going to die with?” Sister Ilya’s saying something ominous, but I don’t have the time to refute her! “Hey! Lucia!”
“Ilya? What’s, mmph, up?”
“Your tribulation’s coming!”
“My what?”
“Your tribulation, you know, the thing you have to pass if you want to become an immortal?”
“Ah!” Lucia dropped the bowls in her hands. They fell into the tempering formation with a plopping sound. Then, her hands landed on my shoulders, and I couldn’t lean forward to kiss her anymore. I feel nauseous. Am I going to die? I absorbed too many impurities, and I can’t circulate them properly throughout my body for some reason. They refuse to move. “What the heck!? You two knew I was drinking this to become an immortal! Why are you still here!? Which bastard tied you two up!?”
Oh. The restraining ropes gone. Eh? The liquid in the—no, the whole tempering formation disappeared. Did Lucia store it? I think she did. Ah. It’s dark. Did she teleport Sister Ilya and I deeper underground? I didn’t know there were so many trees underground. It almost looks like the surface of the Holy Beasts Sect. The strange black rocks that make up the ceiling are lighting up with flashes of what look like lightning, but lightning usually isn’t red.
“Wow, that cloud is huge!” Lucia stopped moving and stared up at the sky. Sky? Is that the sky? Are we not underground right now? That’s odd…. I feel dizzy. The world is spinning around and around. “Ilya, take Softie away from here. She’s, err, abnormal right now. Fix her, okay?”
“She’s a bit too broken for even me to fix.” Sister Ilya’s face appeared above me. Wasn’t Lucia holding me just a second ago? The ground is hard. No, it’s not the ground. It’s wooden, like a boat. “Here, drink this.”
Sister Ilya lifted my torso up until I was sitting. Were we moving? What about Lucia? “Lucia?”
“Shut up about Lucia for a second.” Something cold pressed against my lips. It was a cup of green liquid. It smelled like … ginger?
“What is this?”
“It’s medicine that’ll sober you up.”
Oh. She should’ve said that earlier. It tastes really bitter. “Why didn’t you give this to Lucia?” Then I wouldn’t have had to resort to such drastic measures. I’m sure I wouldn’t have kissed Lucia so fiercely if it wasn’t absolutely necessary. Absolutely not. …Maybe.
Sister Ilya smiled at me. Could it be she wanted me to kiss Lucia? Is that why she didn’t give this sobering medicine … to … her…?
“Well, that’s because I lied. This medicine just knocks people out. Enjoy your nap.
Sister Ilya…! She’s … so…!
…