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Alright, while everyone’s distracted, I’ll sneak up to the tomb and absorb it. Since all the people are here for the tomb’s inheritance, if I take it, then I’ll be targeted by everyone! That’s why, now’s the best time to strike while they’re too busy crying and killing each other. It’s not that I’m afraid of everyone targeting me. Nope. Nuh-uh. Mm, there’s only a crapload of people. I’m not sure if Mrs. Feathers can protect me from all of them. Okay. I’m a little afraid. That’s why I have to do this without getting caught!
Maybe I’ll use this person as a scapegoat. He’s been clinging to the ground close to my feet because he wants his weapons back, and he’s getting a little creepy. But the more he wants his daggers, err, my daggers, the less I want to give them to him! Are they really that expensive though? Maybe I can sell them back to him! “How about this? I’ll sell these daggers back to you if you’re willing to work for me.”
The man straightened his back. “I’m willing to do anything as long as you give them back!”
Give them back? “Did you mishear? You have to help me to purchase them from me. They’re not free even if you help!”
“…But you took my interspacial ring which has all my wealth.”
Oh. That’s a good point. How’s he going to pay me if I stole his money? Hmm…. Well, when I don’t know the answer to something, I can always ask Ilya! “Ilya! Help!”
“What is it, Lucia?”
Eh? Where did she come from? Did she … come out of my crown? That’s weird. But also super convenient. I can really bring her around everywhere like this! “This guy has no money, but he wants to buy my daggers.”
“And? You want to sell them to him?” Ilya raised an eyebrow. “Have him swear an oath to the heavens to pay you back. Say, five hundred thousand spirit stones per month sounds pretty fair for two sky-realm-ranked weapons, don’t you think? With these weapons, he can easily make that amount back by robbing people.”
“That’s a great idea!” I don’t use daggers, and I’m pretty sure Softie and the real Ilya don’t use them either. It’d be a waste not to loan them out like this. Mm? What about the rest of the stuff I have in my interspacial ring? Eh…. They’re weak, crappy stuff. I don’t think anyone would want to rent them. I know I wouldn’t! But maybe there’s some dumb people who will…. “Hey, Ilya, what do you think about renting out my other weapons? We can start a business!”
“…I didn’t expect that engraving of intelligence to really work.”
“Wait, no, don’t do that,” the desperate man said. “These daggers were originally rented. I can’t afford to make two monthly payments on them.”
“What? Who stole my idea!?”
“If they implemented it first, then you’d be the one stealing their idea,” Ilya said and rolled her eyes.
If she weren’t so fragile, I would’ve punched her. Anyways. “Make up your mind; I’m a busy person.” There’s a tomb that needs to be absorbed! How’s the war up there going anyway? Neither side seems to be winning. They’re shooting at each other’s ships with qi but not really doing any damage because of these barriers surrounding them. Perfect, the longer they stall, the better.
“W-wait! Where are you going? I agreed!”
Ah? The man agreed? To what? The daggers? “Um, Mrs. Feathers, wait, no, I need you. Uh….” This man’s a sky-realm expert, so I can’t leave someone weaker than him to seal the deal. “I guess you’ll have to wait until after I’m done because I’m in a hurry! C’mon, Mrs. Feathers, I need you to distract the formation again.”
There should be another defensive formation on this tomb because the dead are greedy bastards. Why don’t they donate all their stuff to charity before they die? Jeez. Mm, well, I suppose it’s better this way. If they weren’t so stingy, I wouldn’t even have a chance to take their stuff. Let’s see, is this wall really made of bones? They’re grey but definitely bones. Okay. I’ll just grab this random person here and have him touch the wall for me.
“W-what are you—”
There we go! And now the formation should be distracted any second now…. Um. Any second…? Hello?
Bang!
Ah!? My bait exploded! What the heck!? “Mrs. Feathers, why’d he explode!?” I didn’t see anything, but he died just like that!
Mrs. Feathers hopped forward—with the genius still on her back—and sniffed the ground like a dog. Then she raised her head. “He seems to have self-detonated. Maybe he was overwhelmed by despair and chose to kill himself.”
That’s…. Hmm. “Then … can you somehow distract the formation while I engrave stuff on the tomb’s wall?” How am I suppose to absorb the tomb if touching it will make me want to explode myself? Ah? Maybe that random person was just weak-willed. “Hang on a second.” Let’s try using this other random person as a test too!
“W-wait!”
Bang!
Mm, nope. He exploded too. Is this wall really untouchable? I don’t believe it! Again!
“S-stop!”
…Bang? No? Hah! This person didn’t instantly explode. She’s perfectly…, ripping her face off? Um…. At least she didn’t explode? I mean, I don’t want to rip my face off either, but I’ve proved that not everyone—
Bang!
Okay, she exploded too. This is tricky. But the answer is simple! “What do you think, Ilya?”
Ilya frowned. “I think you should carve out your engraving with qi from a distance, then absorb the tomb as fast as possible.”
“But I’ll explode.” I have to touch the wall to absorb it. And everyone who’s touched the wall has exploded!
“Not necessarily,” Ilya said. “You inherited the Despairing Blade, haven’t you? You underwent a test and passed. The Tablet of Despair was left behind by an immortal. This tomb was created by a quasi-immortal; the despair formation shouldn’t be as strong.”
“It shouldn’t be, but there’s still a chance! And I’m not taking that chance!” I might explode! “Durandal’s secrets aren’t worth me ripping my face off and exploding!”
Ilya furrowed her brow. “Then … you can wait a bit and take the inheritance test normally.”