Volume 2 Chapter 5 – Restaurant (1)

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There’s something special about Lucia. She just has this miraculous ability to … piss people off wherever she goes—except for my father, she’s an angel in his eyes. Disregarding my traitorous blood, this Azure Dragon Sect person looks absolutely enraged. I suspect he’s angry because Lucia made eye contact with him before closing the door when he shouted for whoever was in the VIP suite to get the hell out. I don’t know if she actually made eye contact because I wasn’t watching, but it wouldn’t make sense otherwise. Actually, I almost forgot the fact that I was in a nuthouse. Maybe there wasn’t actually a reason other than this elder really wanted to eat peacocks.

The elder twirled his finger around his white moustache, which was wispy and long—completely unlike the thicker and bushier mustaches back home. Am I so homesick that I’m missing what facial hair looks like? A jet of warm, moist air blew past my face, causing my hair to flutter. …Was that ejected from the elder’s nostrils? That’s so gross! Beat him up, Lucia!

“Which sect do you three hail from?”

“That’s none of your business, old man!” Lucia said, slamming her hand against the table. I thought it was going to shatter, but the red wood was a lot sturdier than I thought. Oh, there’s some energy coming off of it. Perhaps it’s reinforced in case fights break out? I wouldn’t be surprised if that was the case. With how easily provoked people are in the Immortal Continent, fights should break out every other day in this restaurant. But why was Lucia blatantly provoking people as well? Oh, right. She’s an idiot. That’s why.

One of the young women that was standing behind the elder stepped forward. “Master! Look at how poorly she’s treating you, an elder of the Azure Dragon Sect! Allow your disciple to teach her a lesson!”

Was it just me … or did she have the same look in her eye when addressing her master that Lucia had when she wanted to tear off Durandal’s clothes? I, I think she really does. Is she a pervert or is liking older men the norm around here? The other women are staring at Durandal with probing expressions, so I guess the first one was just a pervert.

“Idiot!” The elder slapped the back of the outspoken woman’s head. “If you can’t sense her realm, she’s stronger than you! She’s a saint-realm expert that doesn’t fear our Azure Dragon Sect; what should you infer from that!?”

The woman bit her lower lip and stared up at her master with teary eyes. “That she has eyes but can’t see Mount Hai?”

What’s Mount Hai?

“Fool!” The elder slapped the back of her head again. “Who’s the one that can’t see Mount Hai!? It’s you! Apologize to the lady right now!”

“M-Master,” the woman said, tears rolling down her cheeks. The elder snorted so hard that steam came out of his nose and instantly dried the tears on the woman’s face. Yup, like I thought earlier, that’s really gross. The lady put away her childish expression and glared at Lucia before lowering her head. “I apologize for my outburst.”

Lucia blinked, then turned her head to stare at me, asking for help. Why was she asking me for help!? What’s wrong with this scenario that you need me to help you? Knowing Lucia, she was probably thinking something stupid like robbing a group of people without guilt by becoming a victim and now her plans were completely ruined. Lucia mouthed the words, ‘I wanted to rob them,’ and pointed at the elder’s group. …It’s sad how well I know Lucia. Being around her for a year has taken its toll on my sanity.

“Won’t you forgive this disciple of mine?” the elder asked as he naturally walked over to Lucia’s side and sat by her. What was he doing acting like this place was his home? For the record, I’m sitting on Durandal’s right while Lucia’s sitting on his left and the table’s a round circle with a circular bench around it. The door is directly to my right, so no one can sit beside me. Why am I sitting next to Durandal and not Lucia? Because I know how Lucia gets when it comes to restaurants. She’s paranoid about being poisoned, but she constantly wants to try new food. So instead of asking me to cast an anti-poison spell on every meal because she thinks it’ll ruin the taste, she’d feed me a piece of every dish to make sure it wasn’t toxic. And Lucia eats a lot. Every time I’m used as an experimental poison dummy, I have to vomit three to four times in the bathroom to make space for more food.

“Um. What if I don’t want to?” Lucia asked. Occasionally, Lucia can formulate a plan—but only when it comes to money, acorns, or hot chocolate—but the instant her plan goes awry, she turns into an idiot. No, that’s not right. She reverts back to her idiotic self. Also, she’ll forget any plan she makes if she’s distracted once. It’s upsetting, really. Lucia asks, read orders, me to plan things for her, but the instant something new appears, all the plans I previously set are ruined.

“Nonsense, she’s barely thirty years old, you can’t expect her to act maturely,” the elder said. Thirty years old!? She looks eighteen! And what do you mean a thirty-year-old can’t act maturely? I know some thirty-year-old grandmothers! The elder chuckled as he leaned forward and grabbed the teapot in the center of the table before pouring himself a cup. “My name is Strong Bear, but you can call me Brother Bear. What can I call you, Sister?”

“…Lucia.”

Yup, Lucia’s stunned because her plan failed. She’s hopeless now. And Strong Bear? Is that really his name? That sounds like something Lucia would kill and eat for breakfast.

“Sister Lucia,” the elder said as he stroked his equally long and thin white beard. “You ordered all four peacocks the restaurant had. Surely you can’t finish it all with only the three of you—especially since there are two beautiful women; how about you share with my group? What do you say?”

Was he saying beautiful women couldn’t eat a lot? That’s sexist. And incorrect. Lucia’s stomach is unending. Lucia turned towards me, her eyes begging me for help. What was wrong with her? This is the second time in two days that I’ve seen her so flustered. The first time was when she thought Black Devil Shu was coming onto her. The second time is now … when she was complimented by Strong Bear. …Don’t tell me she’s weak to compliments? That can’t be. Back at home, she was always complimented for being strong and heroic and brave and … manly. Has she never been called beautiful before…? Oh my lord, she’s actually weak to compliments on her appearance.

“Hmm? You want your junior’s opinion? How considerate, madam,” Strong Bear said and smiled at me. “What do you say?” He must’ve seen my hesitation because he followed up with something outrageous, “I’ll pay for the whole meal.”

“Deal!” Lucia shouted. Everyone except Durandal and me flinched at that sudden outburst. “No take-backs!”


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