Volume 2 Chapter 3 – …Tribulation? (3)

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I nearly pooped myself. That black lightning, wow. If I didn’t freeze up and accidentally throw away the instant-teleportation button, then I’d probably be dead. Even if I crushed it like I planned to, then that ball of lightning would’ve followed and zapped me. I mean, I was totally planning on teleporting the ball of lightning away. Aren’t I a genius? …I’m scared. What kind of world did Durandal force me into!?

“Lucia.”

Speak of the devil. Where was Durandal this whole time?

“Don’t look so angry.” Durandal patted my head and rubbed my ears. It’s hard to be mad at him when he does this. It’s not fair. But I’m still mad! …Mm, a little more to the left, please. “I couldn’t come out to help you because of the lightning.”

“Is that a saint weapon spirit!?”

Hmm? Who was eyeing Durandal? The people who had run away from the barrier were crowding around the entrance to the temple. What were those glints in their eyes for? Oh! The selfless senior’s interspacial ring! I almost missed out on this. It’s a bit bloody, but I’m no stranger to blood. I’ll check what’s inside after I leave all these prying eyes. “…I should remove the witnesses.” Isn’t that what Durandal had taught me?

Durandal stopped patting my head. Why? He drew his weapon, dashed towards the entrance, and shouted, “Breaking Blade!” Weird. He didn’t use up any of my qi at all, but there was plenty of qi inside his attack. Durandal can only use qi from his owner or from spirit stones, and all our spirit stones are in my interspacial ring. Don’t tell me he found a new owner…. Which bitch stole Durandal from me!? Whose qi is he using!?

“Ah! Lucia! You’re crushing me!”

Oops. I squeezed Ilya’s arm a bit too hard. I forgot to let go of her after the generous senior exploded. What was I thinking about before this…? Oh, right. “Durandal!”

Someone screamed, but it didn’t last very long because a head flew into the air. Gah! Why is Durandal murdering people!? We just had to silence them! “Wait! Durandal! What are you doing!?”

Durandal paused, and the remaining people at the entrance froze as well. “Didn’t you want to silence them?”

“Well, yeah, but we can just cut their tongues out, right?” Without a tongue, people can’t speak. Then no one will know. Mhm. …But tongues grow back, so I’ll have to get Ilya to cast an anti-healing spell.

“And if they write out a message?”

Ah, right. I forgot about words. How come other people can read and I can’t? Life’s not fair. “Then we’ll cut off their arms too.”

“They can draw on the ground with their legs.”

“Cut those off too!” Why are there so many ways to communicate a message!?

“They can answer questions by blinking their eyes. One blink for yes and two blinks for no.”

“Pop their eardrums then.” There has to be a way to silence someone other than killing them! I don’t want to be labeled as an evil person the instant I enter a new world. I have to be stronger than everyone in the world first before I can be evil! Then no one can punish me. Right, I have to lay low and become stronger, strong enough to destroy that tribulation lightning with a sneeze at the very least!

“But, ah, what if they use the top of their heads to write out a message in mud?”

“Then cut their heads … off.” Wait a minute. I feel like I’ve been bamboozled.

Another person screamed as his head flew into the air.

“Durandal!”

“What? I’m just following your orders.”

“I didn’t order you to do anything!” I was just answering questions! Those weren’t orders!

“If I may suggest a solution, Madam Squirrel.”

Hmm? What was this person’s name again? Black devil’s shoe? “Alright. Let’s hear it.” I’m open to suggestions, unlike Durandal. He pretends to be open to my suggestions, but he ignores them and does whatever he wants instead. For a while, I wanted to train him like I trained Puppers, but I don’t want to break Durandal’s soul. …I broke Puppers’ soul? Who said that? I treat Puppers very nicely! I feed him a meal every other month!

“We can swear oaths to the heavens like so,” the shoe person said. “I swear on the heavens that I will never let anyone know of what has occurred today. If I break my oath, then let the heavens strike me dead!” A beam of light fell down from the sky and illuminated him.

…Did he really think that’d work? “Sorry, but I don’t believe in, uh, the heavens.” Even Ilya can make herself light up like a flashlight. How dumb did this person think I was?

The shoe person furrowed his brow. “But it really works.”

“Prove it,” Durandal said. He pointed his sword at one of the trembling people. “Make an oath to the heavens and break it. I want to see what happens.”

“But, Senior, if I do that, I’ll die!” the man said.

Durandal sighed and another head flew into the air. Stop killing them! “Look,” Durandal said. “If these oaths really work, then only one of you has to die instead of all of you. Aren’t I a generous man? I’ll let you decide who will make the oath between yourselves.”

The shoe person stared at me with a strange expression. “Like I thought, you’re perfect for the Shadow Devil Sect. No wonder why your heart devil qi is so thick.”

A shiver ran down my spine. Was I being recruited? But I don’t want to join a Shadow Devil Sect! It sounds so ominous! That’ll definitely get me hunted down by other people for being evil! While Durandal handled silencing the people, I decided to think ahead and figure out what to do for the future. “Are there any good sects?”

“Good? The Shadow Devil Sect is one of the five fingers of Kong County. Only the other four fingers can see eye to eye with us. Everyone else is below us.”

“Err, that’s not what I meant by good. You know, good, like, uh, loved by the people kind of good.”

“The Shadow Devil Sect is loved by the people. People love strength. Millions of cultivators flock to our sect every year for our entrance examinations.”

“Millions?” Ilya asked. Hey, it looked like she finally recovered from whatever she was suffering. She just hadn’t been herself recently. An Ilya that isn’t doubtful isn’t an Ilya at all. “That’s impossible.”

“I’m not lying,” the shoe person said. He glared at Ilya before snorting. “Just a mortal-realm junior, what would you know?”

Ilya rolled her eyes and tugged on my sleeve. “You know, the population in our world was close to two million people. Now he’s saying millions of people go to his sect yearly. Think of how big our world was and how much space is required to host millions of people.” Ilya stared into my eyes. “I believe even someone like you can figure it out.”

…You know, math isn’t really my strong suit. But Ilya believes in me! So I’ll just read her subtle hints that are yelling at me to agree with her. “Ilya’s right. Do you think I’m dumb?”

Black devil’s shoe cleared his throat. “Your world is a tiny one. Very, very tiny. If—”

BOOM!

Holy crap! That was loud. …What was that? Durandal was standing by a pile of ashes, nudging it around with his sword. “Huh, interesting,” Durandal said with a nod. “Those oaths really work.

Oh, those ashes used to be a person. Err, did I say I didn’t believe in the heavens? Ah-ha-ha, it was a slip of tongue! I swear! …But not to the heavens. Please don’t zap me.


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