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“No way,” Malvie said. She was squatting on a piece of bark extending out of the floor of the hollow tree. In front of her, there was the open knothole. Although branches and leaves were shielding the interior from view, she could still see what was going on outside from tiny little gaps within the natural shutters. The disguised phoenix furrowed her brow. “Is it really that easy to get a dragon drunk? The metal lug isn’t even hesitating!”
“You can try getting a dragon drunk,” Lindyss said from her spot near the wall. She took a sip from her bottle and exhaled. “I doubt someone unrelated to Volearden can get him to drop his guard like this. It’s easy because it’s Vur.”
“You sure?” Malvie asked, leaning forward and squinting to get a better view of the clearing outside. “He’s drinking my stash like it’s water. I know it’s being spent on a good purpose, but it’s really hard to part with so much liquor.”
“Huh?” Erin asked and hiccoughed. “Spent for a good purpose? Didn’t you just want to get Volearden drunk because you were too dignified to sober up really fast? How were you going to do it anyway?”
“Food only comes out one of two ways,” Lindyss said. “Why would it be any different for alcohol. Malvie would’ve had to puke it all out or have some explosive dia—”
“I am not that crude!” Malvie said and whipped her head back to glare at Lindyss. “I have methods to expel foreign substances within my body through my skin.”
“Oh,” Erin said and nodded. “So, you sweat it out.” She hugged her bottle and tilted it towards Lindyss. “One mystery solved. Cheers!”
The cursed elf clinked her bottle against the fairy queen’s, and the two drunken women took deep swigs as Malvie looked on with a bitter expression. If the disguised phoenix wanted to sober up, she’d have to expel all the alcohol within her body, but that’d make her stinky and sweaty, something she wasn’t willing to become when she could spend money—in the form of liquor—to solve her problem instead. Her eyes narrowed as she turned to look out the window. A quarter of the phoenix liquor had already been consumed by the two dragons. Even for such large creatures, their tolerance was extremely high; after all, one shot was enough to knock out the average human.
Malvie frowned and turned her head towards Lindyss. “Don’t you have a method to let us hear what’s going on outside?” the disguised phoenix asked. “I don’t have experience reading human lips, and Volearden’s face is covered by his battle armor.”
“You should be glad you can see outside at all,” Lindyss said. “Do you think it’s easy to hide from a dragon’s senses?”
“What about mechanical means?” Malvie asked. “Like a hidden microphone or camera.”
“Oh?” Lindyss asked. “Do you have any? We haven’t developed them on Erde.”
“Asking a phoenix whether or not she has something,” Malvie said and snorted, “isn’t that being too disrespectful? I have several cameras and voice-recording tools. I always buy the newest models that come out and put them on display. As for the others, well, I store them in here.” She patted her root bracelet. “Of course, it’s too late to place them down outside.”
“Hey,” Erin said and hugged a bottle standing next to her. She flew up, lifting the bottle off the table, and headed towards Malvie. “You’re thinking too much; I think you need to drink some more.”
Malvie grabbed the bottle and frowned as she leaned forward, resting her elbows against the base of the knothole. Once Volearden was nice and drunk…. A furrow appeared on Malvie’s brow. What was she going to do to him again? The fairy was probably right. All this thinking was making her throat parched. She raised the bottle and took a few swigs before exhaling, letting her arm with the bottle dangle out of the knothole.
“Watch out,” Erin said and pulled the disguised phoenix’s arm back in. “Only our presences and sounds are erased. If Volearden spots your arm sticking out of the tree like that, he’ll know you’re here.”
“Let him find me,” Malvie said and snorted. “I’m not scared of him; I’ll peck his eyes out if he has a problem.”
Erin tilted her head before turning towards Lindyss. “Too much to drink or too little?” the fairy queen asked. “Should I take her bottle away or give her more?”
“Give her more,” Lindyss said. “She’s a phoenix. The worst thing that’ll happen is she passes out and doesn’t get a drunken meeting with Volearden.” The cursed elf threw a bottle over to the window, and it landed in Malvie’s lap with a thump. “Honestly, you should’ve just expelled the alcohol from your body. What good will it do to meet Volearden when you’re both impaired?”
“For great creatures such as myself and—as much as I hate to admit it—Volearden,” Malvie said and leaned back, gesturing towards her chest with her hand, “it doesn’t matter what state of mind or matter we’re in as long as we’re in the same state.”
“She’s not making much sense anymore,” Erin said and uncorked the bottle in the disguised phoenix’s lap, causing a popping sound to ring out. After helping Lindyss enable the disguised phoenix, the fairy queen flew up to the knothole and peered through the branches and leaves. She hiccoughed. “Those dragons are drinking like their lives depend on it. I wonder what Vur said to them.”
“Who knows?” Lindyss said. “It’s easy to tell what Vur is thinking, but it’s hard to predict what he’s going to do; his ideas are unconstrained by conventional wisdom. For all we know, he could’ve used violence to threaten Volearden and that other dragon into drinking.”
“Impossible,” Malvie said and flapped her arm in Lindyss’ direction as if it were a wing. “For that to happen, Vur would have to be very powerful, even stronger than me.”
Lindyss raised an eyebrow. “But are you stronger than Vur?”
“Of course!” Malvie said. “Just look at how beautiful I am! There’s no way he can compete with me.” Her eyes lit up as she leaned out the window. “Fulferminis’ face is turning bright red; my ingenious plan is coming to fruition!”