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The first thing Vernon said when Vur and Sera landed in front of him was, “See, look! I didn’t lie. He grew out his scales and wings when he got older.”
Sera promptly smacked his snout. She smiled at her nephews and nieces who were hiding behind their grandmother before shifting her gaze. “Mom, this is Vur, your grandson that I’ve been telling you about.”
“Oh?” Sera’s mother asked, raising her brow as she brought her face closer to Vur. “You told me I shouldn’t judge him by his appearance when I first saw him. I assumed he’d have a deformity, but I don’t see anything wrong with him?” Her head swiveled and her neck craned up and around, getting a better look at Vur from all angles. “Other than a head lice problem, he’s perfectly normal and healthy.”
“…Did she just call us lice?” Tafel asked.
Mr. Skelly ran his fingers through Alice’s hair. “Maybe she was referring to the lice of someone on his head.”
Alice snapped Mr. Skelly’s wrist off. “I do not have lice!”
“She couldn’t have been talking about us, right, Deedee?” a high-pitched voice asked from somewhere within Vur’s shoulder.
“She definitely was. You’re just as annoying as lice,” Stella’s voice said, drifting out of Vur’s chest.
“Deedee! Your wife is being bullied by a stupid fairy! Do something.”
A sigh echoed out of Vur’s shoulder.
“Guys! Stop arguing so much,” Sheryl whispered, her voice barely audibly as it streamed out of Vur’s neck. “We’re in the presence of dragons.”
A tiny whine drifted out of Vur’s back from a leviathan-shaped rune. “I want to go home….”
Vur’s grandmother turned to face Sera. “I think I spoke too soon. It seems like he’s infested with parasites.” She sighed and clicked her tongue as she lumbered towards Vur. “Don’t worry, Grandson. Grandma will take those nasty little critters out of you soon. You must’ve suffered for so long.”
Vur blinked at his grandmother three times before sidling over to Vernon. He cupped a paw over his mouth and whispered, “Is Grandma senile?”
Vernon whispered back, “No, and I also think it’s a little weird how there are so many things talking inside of you. They’re not in your stomach, right? You didn’t eat them? Didn’t I tell you eating things that could talk would give you a stomachache?”
Alora slapped her face with her paw. “Those are elementals, Uncle Vernon.” She came out from behind Vur’s grandmother and walked up to Vur before sitting on her haunches. “Hi, my name is Alora. It’s—”
“You can’t have him!” Tafel shouted from atop Vur’s head, glaring at the sky-blue dragon in front of her. “He’s married and has a child!”
“Huh?” Vur asked, his eyes widening as Sera and Vernon stared at him with heated eyes. “T-Tafel?”
Tafel placed her hands on her hips and lowered her head to meet Vur’s eyes. “Snuffles is your son, right? I didn’t lie.” She held out one hand as if she were weighing an imaginary object. “You’re married.” She held out her other hand. “And you have a child.” She brought her hands together and clasped them in front of her chest. “See? Married with child.” She freed her right hand and turned it into a fist that she shook at Alora. “I don’t care how handsome you think he is; don’t try to make him your mate!”
Alora scratched her head as her face scrunched up into a weird shape. “That’s like, um, totally wrong. And gross. We’re cousins, you know, related to each other?”
Tafel’s face flushed red, but instead of backing down, she crossed her arms over her chest. “Well, that didn’t stop his aunt from trying to steal him from me.”
“Wait, what?” Vur took a step back as his parents took steps forward. His eyes shifted to look at Alice and Mr. Skelly. “Did Tafel hit her head on the flight here? I thought I flew smoothly.”
“Don’t try to make me look crazy,” Tafel said. “I’m talking about Lulu, the sister of the dragon that you call Aunt Leila. You should be calling Lulu Aunt Lulu! Did you know that she still sends me magical letters asking me to rent you to her?”
Vur rubbed his chin. “I never really thought about it like that before,” he said, knitting his brows. “Lulu really is my aunt. But she doesn’t act like an aunt. How can my aunt be younger than me?”
Tafel snorted. “She’s not. She’s probably like ten or twenty times your age, you know?”
“Hmm.”
“Let’s stop standing around outside, shall we?” Vur’s grandmother asked. Though it was phrased as a question, it was more of a command. Alora stiffened and bobbed her head up and down before retreating back behind her grandmother.
“I think I’ll wait outside, Vur,” Alice said as she slid off of Vur’s head, taking Mr. Skelly with her. “For some reason, I think it’s safer out here.” She gestured at Tafel. “Are you coming too?”
“I’m staying,” Tafel said, taking in a deep breath. “I’m Vur’s wife. I can’t back down from meeting his grandmother.”
“Your legs are shaking,” Alice said, a blank expression on her face.
“I know that!” Tafel glared at Alice before crouching down and nudging Vur’s forehead with her palm. “Let’s go before I change my mind.”
“Why are you nervous?” Vur asked Tafel as he lumbered after the dragons towards a cave near the base of a cliff. “Didn’t you become a phoenix?”
“Phoenix or not, it’s the size difference,” Tafel said. “Think about it. What if a really huge bear that was a hundred times your size compared to your dragon form charged at you? What would you think?” Tafel paused. “Wait, no. I forgot normal analogies don’t work on you. You probably thought it’d just be more to eat, right?”
Vur nodded. “Well, yeah.”
Tafel sighed. How many dragons did she have to meet? Maybe she’d have to meet Grimmy’s parents. Then Prika’s parents. Then Vernon’s parents. And, heck, she’d probably have to meet Nova’s parents too since dragons practically lived forever. “I said this earlier, but your family really is too large.”
“Did that person just call us fat?”
“You are fat.”
“Hey! Rude. I’m wide-scaled; it’s not fat.”