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Lindyss groaned as she stood up and stretched her arms above her head. She yawned, closing her eyes in the process, and arched her back. She dusted off the back of her pants while staring at the mountain of books beside her. “Well, it seems like I’m finally done here,” she said with a nod. “I haven’t been outside in a while.”
“Really?” Erin asked as she bolted upright. She stood up and leapt into the air, hovering near Lindyss’ head. “Really, really? You’re finally going to leave the library? It’s not going to be like the last time you said you were done and moved onto a different section instead of leaving?”
Lindyss narrowed her eyes at Erin. “For someone who complains a lot, you stuck around for quite a while,” she said. “You’re a queen, aren’t you? Go do queen stuff instead of bothering me. How long are you going to follow me for?”
Erin puffed her chest out and placed her hands on her hips. “I’m free to do whatever I wish. And if I wish to follow you, then there’s nothing you can do about it.”
Lindyss sighed and shook her head. It wasn’t worth the effort to argue with the tiny queen. She had tried everything she could think of to shoo Erin away, but the fairy ignored it all. Even waking the fairy up by slamming a book on her whenever she fell asleep didn’t work. “I don’t understand you, but whatever,” she said. “As long as you don’t get in my way, I don’t care.”
“Be more grateful that I’m gracing you with my friendship. I can tell you don’t have many friends,” Erin said with a frown. She flew onto Lindyss’ head, but the cursed elf swatted her off with a swift backhand. Erin shook her fist at Lindyss as she followed her out of the library. “Rude!”
Lindyss snorted as she walked out the door and winced as the sunlight entered her eyes. She took a step back and retreated into the building, bumping into Erin and knocking her off course.
“Ack! What the heck are you doing?” Erin asked as she stabilized herself. “You said you were done! I’ll seriously fight you if you try to go back on your words.”
“It’s too bright out,” Lindyss said with a shrug. “Let’s wait until nighttime.”
“What are you? A vampire?” Erin asked with a scowl. She flew over to a dwarf in a corner who had a pair of sunglasses propped up on his head. “I’m borrowing these, thanks.” She snatched the sunglasses away from the dwarf before flying back to Lindyss. “Here, use these.”
Lindyss looked at the fairy carrying the sunglasses that were the same size as her tiny body. “So you’re not completely useless,” Lindyss said and took the sunglasses, ignoring the baffled dwarf in the corner. She put them on and nodded. “These’ll work.”
Erin shook her fist at Lindyss. “How dare you call me useless? Who translated those parts you didn’t understand, huh?” She prodded Lindyss’ cheek with her finger. “Huh? Who was it, Ms. I Think Mana is Read as Ladder?”
Lindyss rolled her eyes. “That’s why I said not completely useless. Calm down.” She strolled out of the library and spread her arms out to the side with a smile. “The sun’s warm.”
“Obviously.”
“I wasn’t talking to you,” Lindyss said with a snort.
Erin pouted “If not me, then who?”
“Myself. Here, I’ll do it again,” Lindyss said as she turned her head towards the right. “Don’t you think this fairy’s super annoying?” She turned her head towards the left. “Yeah, I do. She’s like the super clingy type that can’t handle rejection.” Her head turned back towards the right. “Right? I know exactly what you mean.”
Erin kicked the back of Lindyss’ head. “This is why you don’t have any friends,” she said and crossed her arms over her chest. “But luckily for you, I’m not a petty person and such an immature way of insulting people won’t get to me.”
Lindyss shook her head before heading down the road that led to the dwarves’ palace.
“Hey, where are you going?” Erin asked. “What are you going to do now? Find Vur? I have a better idea. Why don’t we go to an amusement park? The dwarves are really good at building strange rides that only have a 20% chance of exploding. There’s things they call rollercoasters, and there’s these giant rotating wheels. It’ll be fun. That’s why they’re called amusement parks and not boring parks.”
“How about … no,” Lindyss said. The guards at the palace saluted her before stepping aside while opening the gates. “But you can go by yourself. Send me some pictures of your time there. I’ll be with you in spirit.”
“Why are you such a boring person?” Erin asked with a sigh as she floated behind Lindyss. “You have to smile more, or your face is going to be permanently stuck like that. Learn to enjoy life: dance in some festivals, have a summer fling, roast marshmallows over a bonfire, participate in a race, read a bo—actually, don’t read anything. Do something interesting. If you don’t want to go to an amusement park, we can always go to the zoo. Or the aquarium. Or even the museum of mushrooms. I heard they found a new mushroom that makes people laugh uncontrollably when they eat it.”
Erin sighed again as Lindyss ignored her, marching down the hall and up a flight of stairs. “Hey, E,” Lindyss said, kicking open the door to a small room. “I need the keys to your dungeons.”
E groaned as Lindyss yanked open his curtains, letting sunlight stream into the room. “Dungeons?” he asked. “What dungeons? And close the shades. I can’t laze about properly if there’s sunlight.”
“You’re not even sleeping,” Erin said, staring at the dwarf who was lying on a bed. He had a tray with a half-eaten meal on his lap.
“The sunlight burns my eyes,” E said as he rubbed his face.
“You’re both stupid,” Erin said, glaring at Lindyss, who adjusted her sunglasses.
E yawned before clapping his hands. A set of armor appeared beside him and rummaged through a trunk by his bed. It pulled out a key before handing it to E. He looked at the key and nodded before tossing it to Lindyss. “Master key to everything. I don’t know what dungeon you want to see, but this should open all of them.” He tossed the tray off his lap and lay back on his bed, staring at the ceiling while sighing with a smile on his face. “It feels good to have no responsibilities. Vur promised me you’d take care of my kingdom.”
Lindyss glanced at the key before frowning at E. “What are you going to do now that you have no responsibilities? Sleep all day?”
“Sleep?” E asked, raising an eyebrow as he sat up. “Don’t be silly. A real slacker never sleeps. Sleep takes up so much time that can be spent slacking off. How am I supposed to do accomplish doing nothing if I sleep all day?”
“So sleeping counts as doing something,” Lindyss said, her expression blank.
“Correct,” E said. “You have to be awake to relish the time you’re wasting pass by.”
“I’ve seen plants with more motivation than you,” Lindyss said.
“Hey, did you come here to criticize me, or did you come here for that key?” E asked with a scowl. “I gave you what you wanted, so if you could kindly let me slack off now, I’d appreciate it.”
Lindyss nodded before closing the curtains and leaving the room. “At least he’s dedicated to his hobby,” she said after closing the door. “But how did he manage to run a kingdom with a personality like that?”
“That’s just the way he is,” Erin said. “Efficient at everything so he could have more time to do nothing. And what do you need keys to the dungeons for? Dungeons are boring places filled with misery and suffering. You shouldn’t go there.”
“Where else am I supposed to find sacrifices that no one will care about?” Lindyss asked, rolling her eyes. “Dungeons are perfect.”
“Hey…,” Erin said, squinting her eyes. “You said the human sacrifice thing was a joke.”
“Yeah, yeah,” Lindyss said, waving her hand dismissively. “Just joking. Now, where’s my sacrificial knife? Oh, here it is.”