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“You know,” Tafel said to Alice as she lowered her book, “this wasn’t what I had in mind when I set out on an adventure with Vur.”
“What makes you say that?” Alice asked. Her body flew into the air and crashed back against her leather seat as the leviathan skeleton they were riding ran over a tree. She grimaced as all kinds of animals shrieked, howled, and scattered as they were displaced. “Could it be the fact that none of this is normal?”
“Yeah, that could be it,” Tafel said and furrowed her brow while glancing behind herself. Hundreds of skeletons were dashing over the trees that had been toppled over by the leviathan skeleton. They were chattering and laughing amongst themselves while holding bound and gagged elves over their heads. A few of the elves met her gaze, glaring daggers at her. She turned her head back towards Alice. “Anyways, do you know where I can buy the joyful tears of a darkness elemental?”
“I don’t think elementals cry,” Alice said and glanced at Tafel’s book. “Where did you even find that tome?”
“It was in the ruins of the holy dragons’ church in Anfang,” Tafel said. “There was a whole section of the library devoted to forbidden and cursed books.” She patted the sword by her side. “And it seemed perfect to learn how to evolve Spitty.”
“You named your sword Spitty?” Alice asked, raising an eyebrow.
Tafel nodded. “It was that or Sharpy,” she said as a green liquid leaked out from her sword’s blade. It dripped onto the leviathan skeleton, causing vapor to appear as bits of the skeleton’s bones were dissolved. “The book said Spitty can grow wings after it evolves.”
Alice stared at Tafel, causing the demon to tilt her head. “Why the hell would a sword need wings?” Alice asked with a frown.
Tafel raised an eyebrow. “To fly? What else are wings used for?” she asked. “It’s not like—”
“Elves ahoy!” Mr. Skelly shouted from atop the leviathan’s skull. “There’s only seven of them; sweep them up!”
Tafel stood up and squinted at the woods ahead. A few elves were standing in the trees, staring at the approaching horde of undead with their mouths agape. Despair filled their eyes as the cackling of the undead filled the air. Tafel sighed and sat down again. “None of them are ginger.”
“I don’t think you’ll ever find a red-haired elf,” Alice said. “Are you sure that tome can be trusted? I don’t see how strands of hair can help evolve a cursed sword.”
“Something about devouring souls,” Tafel said with a shrug. The newest elves were bound and gagged, unable to resist the skeletons’ fierce onslaught. They had tried casting magic, but the fairies by Mr. Skelly had silenced them. “How come we haven’t come across a village yet?”
“Elves live in small colonies,” Alice said and shook her head. “Why would they form a village?”
Tafel scratched her head. “I don’t know,” she said. “That’s just how they worked on my continent. Wouldn’t it be safer for them to group up?”
“What would they need protection from?” Alice asked. “The forest is a sacred land because the phoenixes live here and declared it as such. Only elves are allowed entry because they’re beneficial to the growth of the forest unlike humans and dwarves, who only know how to cut trees down and take without giving back. No one would dare invade the forest to attack the elves; the elven slaves you see around the dwarven towns were all captured outside.” She frowned. “These undead are probably the first belligerent beings to enter the forest in a long time.”
“Then we’re offending phoenixes right now?” Tafel asked. “They’re supposed to be as strong as dragons if they’re imprinted, right?”
“Dragons and phoenixes both fall under the category of beasts you don’t want to offend if you value your life,” Alice said. “I’ve been trying to tell you that invading the forest is a bad idea, but everyone started ignoring me ever since these skeletons appeared.” Her eyes narrowed at the back of Mr. Skelly’s skull. “Are they that much more charismatic than me?”
Tafel hummed and rubbed her chin. “How hard do you think it’d be to get a phoenix imprint?” she asked, ignoring Alice’s question.
“Impossible,” Alice said and flicked Tafel’s forehead. “Don’t even think about it.” She sighed and shook her head. “I don’t understand where these skeletons are getting their confidence from. I tell them it’s a bad idea to invade the forest, but they do it anyways.” She broke off a bit of the leviathan’s bone she was sitting on and threw it at Mr. Skelly. “It’s because you’re already dead, isn’t it? You don’t know what fear means anymore.”
“Well,” Mr. Skelly said as his skull swiveled around to face Alice. “Elves have a lot of mana. An average elf is easily worth twenty average humans. A high elf is worth a hundred humans. As the size of our army expands, the mana upkeep grows as well. Elves are very efficient in their mana produced to food required to keep them alive ratio.”
“Don’t treat living things like renewable energy sources!” Alice said and threw another bone piece at Mr. Skelly, causing a crack to appear on his forehead.
“But that’s all they are to an undead,” Mr. Skelly said and rubbed his forehead. The crack shrank before fading away. “Unless you’re talking about zombies. Then living things can become a non-renewable resource.”
“Why are you complaining so much?” Tafel asked Alice. “You’re the one who wanted to go on this trip.”
Mr. Skelly coughed as Alice furrowed her brow. “Me? It was you,” she said. “I only agreed to come because that damned skeleton said you wanted to.”
“Wait a minute…,” Tafel said, her eyes narrowing at Mr. Skelly. “Did you—”
“Ah! A phoenix,” Mr. Skelly said, pointing off to the side. Tafel’s and Alice’s heads whipped around to look towards the direction he pointed in. There was nothing there. When the two turned back, Mr. Skelly was nowhere to be seen.
“I’m going to kill him the next time I see him,” Alice said and snorted.
“He’s already dead,” Tafel said. “But I’ll help.”