Previous | Table of Contents | Next
Tafel stopped in front of a metal gate, eyes closed, and inhaled through her nose while spreading her arms out to the side. The surrounding people were staring at her, pointing at the horns on her head. The guards at the gate had their weapons at the ready. “Ah, the sweet smell of a brand-new town,” she said and opened her eyes, smiling at the citizens. “It smells like adventure.”
“It smells like poop,” Vur said and wrinkled his nose. Stella nodded as well, covering her nose with Vur’s hair.
“Vur…,” Tafel said and pouted. “You have no adventuring spirit.”
“E-excuse me,” one of the guards said. “But, uh, what are you?”
“An adventurer,” Tafel said with a nod.
“Oh,” the guard said. He nodded and furrowed his brow before muttering, “That isn’t exactly what I was asking, but okay.” He cleared his throat. “Do you have an identification card? Your adventurer card will work.”
“Yeah, it’s right…,” Tafel said before freezing. She sighed as she realized the bag on her waist wasn’t her usual one. “No. No, we don’t.”
“Then the entry fee will be two silver,” the guard said.
Vur frowned. “Can we just throw him away?” he asked as Tafel took two coins out of her bag. “Dragons don’t pay taxes.”
The guard frowned as he tightened his grip on his halberd. “Actually, the holy dragons do pay taxes,” he said. “They were the ones who instated them.”
Vur tilted his head, and Stella copied his action. He crossed his arms over his chest. “Then they’re not dragons.” He snorted and stepped forward as his eyes glowed. An explosion of wind radiated outward from his body, knocking everyone away except for Tafel and Stella. He stepped forward, ignoring the screams, and kicked down the gate before stomping inside.
Tafel groaned as she clutched her head. She tossed the silver coins onto the fallen guard along with a gold coin. “Use that to repair the gate,” she said and sighed. “Sorry. I have to catch up to him before he does anything else.”
The guards didn’t react until after Tafel and Vur had disappeared from view. “You know, I’ve been thinking about this for a while,” one of the guards said as he adjusted his helmet. “But we really don’t get paid enough for this. Yesterday, we were turned into goats. Today, we were beaten down by a party of weirdos. What’ll happen tomorrow?”
“Don’t jinx it,” his companion said with a grimace.
“Vur!” Tafel said and grabbed her husband’s arm. “Why did you do that?”
“They were in our way,” Vur said and blinked. “Why didn’t you do that?”
“That’s not how a leader behaves! You’re nice to people in Konigreich the Second,” Tafel said. “Why aren’t you nice to them here?”
“They’re not my people.”
“Then make them—” Tafel stopped what she was about to say. If she told Vur to make them his people, he might really do it. “Okay. Fine. But still, people are people regardless of whether or not you rule over them.”
“But they’re not my people,” Vur said again and crossed his arms.
“Does that really matter?”
“Of course,” Vur said and nodded. “When you take money from your not people, it’s called liberating shiny resources. When you take money from your people, it’s called taxation.”
“You should really stop hanging around Mr. Skelly,” Tafel said, her face darkening. “Besides, our countries collect mana crystals. We don’t have taxes.”
“We don’t?” Vur asked, blinking twice.
“And we won’t!” Tafel said, crushing Vur’s thoughts. “Anyways, the first place we should go is the adventurers’ guild. We should register for cards to make traveling through this continent more convenient. I’m surprised they had a guild though. Maybe the practice was carried on from Trummer when the worms invaded and the humans fled?”
“Hey, look at that person,” Vur said and pointed at a minute figure. Tafel turned her head. “I’ve never seen a child with a beard before.”
“Uh, Vur,” Tafel said as the figure glared at them. “I don’t think that’s a child.”
“…A midget then?” Vur asked. Stella nodded in agreement.
“Oi! Who’re you calling a midget!?” the figure said and stomped up to Vur. He barely reached up to Vur’s thighs. “I am a dwarf! Never seen one before, you bumpkin?”
Vur blinked. “Then a dwarf is a midget…?”
“No,” the dwarf said as his face turned red. “See here! We have muscular bodies. Bulging beards! A knack for crafting! And—”
“Can’t a midget have all of those?” Vur asked, tilting his head up.
Stella met his gaze and nodded in agreement. “He’s really small.”
“I don’t want to hear that from you!” the dwarf said, shaking his fist at the tiny fairy. “Let me show you the difference between a dwarf and a human midget!”
The dwarf reached over his shoulder into his bag and pulled out a rifle. Vur tilted his head as the dwarf pointed it at him. There was a loud noise, but Vur didn’t flinch, and a bullet struck him in the chest before bouncing off his armor. Vur furrowed his brow and rubbed the cracked leviathan scale the bullet had struck. He glared at the dwarf as a golden rune formed on his forehead. The dwarf’s eyes widened, and he was about to say something, but Vur’s leg blurred, launching the dwarf into the air.
Tafel shielded her eyes from the sun as she watched the dwarf fly beyond the town walls. When he disappeared from view, she glanced at Vur. “I’m pretty sure there’s something in the dragons’ code about not punting little people.”
Vur snorted. “He said he was a dwarf, not a little person.”
“I guess he did…,” Tafel muttered. “It just feels so immoral though.” She shuddered before shaking her head. “Anyways. Adventurers’ guild?” She could worry about solving the problems Vur brought later. To stay sane, one should take things one step at a time, and the first step was to register as citizens of the continent. Then the next step could be figuring out how much of a crime punting a dwarf was.
The trio ignored the crowd that had gathered and headed towards the building with the giant plaque that read, “Adventurers’ Guild.”
Tafel gagged and wrinkled her nose as she stepped inside. “It smells like goats.”
The receptionist glared at her.
“What?” Vur asked. “That’s not the smell of adventure?”